She was the first girl in her family to be imprisoned \u2014 not for a crime, but for daring to live freely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Truths I Didn\u2019t Learn in 28 Years<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The first time I got a passport and came home, I saw my father drinking and eating with his friends. I proudly walked up to him and handed over my passport, saying, \u201cFrom today, I\u2019m independent too.\u201d His friends congratulated me, but my father frowned, his face darkened with anger. He handed the passport back to me and said, \u201cAlright, go to the other room.\u201d As I left the room, feeling embarrassed, I ran into my grandmother\u2019s scolding. She reproached me, explaining that I had done something shameful\u2014girls shouldn\u2019t say they\u2019re \u201cindependent.\u201d Independence, she said, was tantamount to disobedience, and disobedient girls ended up on the wrong path…<\/p>\n\n\n\n My grandmother talked at length, but I could never understand what being independent had to do with ending up \u201con the wrong path.\u201d Later, that single word I uttered\u2014independent<\/em>\u2014became a mark of disgrace in the family. If anyone got angry with their daughter, they\u2019d say, \u201cThe only thing left is for her to turn out like Aynur and say she\u2019s independent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s been over 30 years since then. Every time I hear Mirshahin\u2014the mouthpiece of the authorities\u2014defaming civic and political activists, I remember my grandmother. She was an uneducated woman with a provincial mindset. It seems that education and worldliness aren\u2019t always enough to change a person. Or maybe money and comfort are simply more valuable than anything else. As for me\u2026 This fight for freedom, which I began at the age of 17, has continued throughout my life. I became the first girl in the family to wear pants, to have male friends, to drive a car\u2014and finally, to be imprisoned. Speaking of prison, this place is far from frightening. On the contrary, it is a true school of life for a journalist to mature and understand the society she lives in more deeply.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For instance, in my 28 years of professional experience, I never knew how utterly broken Azerbaijan\u2019s judicial system is. As Alasgar Mammadli once said, in this country, \u201cJustice\u201d<\/em> is just a name\u2014and understanding that can only come through imprisonment. Until now, I had a weak impression of the justice system.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was only after my arrest that I realized a \u201cgood lawyer\u201d is someone skilled in brokerage, someone who knows how to negotiate with judges. As a journalist covering court cases, I used to be inspired by lawyers\u2019 thunderous speeches, transcribing them word for word…<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now I\u2019ve learned that every article of law, every judge has a price. I was shocked when I heard that a female judge from the Sumgayit Serious Crimes Court called my cellmate\u2019s lawyer, invited him to a meeting, and asked for a bribe for herself and the state prosecutor who wouldn\u2019t object to the chairperson\u2019s protest. Outside, I had a very different perception\u2014I thought at the very least one had to go through a great deal just to get a bribe offer in front of a judge. Yes, I was that na\u00efve in relative freedom. Turns out, the bribery system in this country is like a labyrinth\u2014it\u2019s hard to know whose hand is in whose pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The most common charge in prison is fraud. The sums embezzled aren\u2019t small either\u2014most often, they\u2019re in the hundreds of thousands. True, this charge is also used against political activists, but among women, it\u2019s the most widespread. Many of those who admit guilt don\u2019t even seem concerned. They believe that after serving part of their sentence, they\u2019ll be released by paying 5,000 per year for the remainder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There\u2019s one truth I\u2019ve learned from inmates: If you have money, you\u2019re not really the convict in prison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To me, the worst punishment in prison is being forced to watch local TV channels. Especially if a cellmate is addicted to daily shows… Every time I watch them, I wonder: is anyone from the State Committee for Family, Women, and Children\u2019s Affairs monitoring this? Do they know how women are humiliated in these programs\u2014forced to return to their abusive partners? The show \u201cT\u0259sir Dair\u0259si\u201d<\/em> (\u201cSphere of Influence\u201d) in particular is torture for anyone with a shred of intelligence. Then there\u2019s the series \u201cX\u0259yan\u0259t\u201d<\/em> (\u201cBetrayal\u201d) aired every evening on Khazar TV. I suspect the screenwriter was dragged out of a teahouse. For two months, the father has been trying to marry his daughter off to the man who raped her, even turning the entire family into hostages of the abusers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve decided to endure the suffering and monitor these shows myself\u2014to provide concrete evidence of why independent media is essential. Then it will become even clearer how, under the guise of moral values and tradition, people are being encouraged into submission, dependency, and servitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Azerbaijan is gradually turning into a swamp, swallowing people whole. I\u2019m not writing this just because I\u2019m in prison. This place is a small but real reflection of Azerbaijan. The only difference between the people in here and those outside is that the people here have no fear of being arrested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I remember meeting Azer Hasret\u2014who, after losing the first Media Council elections, left in frustration only to return later and speak on behalf of the press under Ali Hasanov\u2019s command\u2014near the \u201cElmler Akademiyasi\u201d metro station. He justified his stance, saying independence is a relative matter and one must keep up with the times. Then he likened me to someone going against a cannon with an old rifle. I laughed then, and I\u2019m still laughing now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A person\u2019s conviction is their identity. It doesn\u2019t matter if you\u2019re in the minority or the majority\u2014a journalist, a thinker, is not destroyed by imprisonment or the shutdown of the outlet they work for. They are destroyed if they don\u2019t write the truth, if they hide it, if they deny it. At this point, it\u2019s fair to say the entire Azerbaijani journalism sector has collapsed. Are they okay with that? I\u2019d say no. It\u2019s just fear\u2014fear of trouble, fear of speaking up, fear of losing comfort\u2014that prevents them from behaving differently. But they forget one thing: it won\u2019t be long before the government realizes that funding identical media outlets is a pointless waste. Then they won\u2019t even have a place left to complain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In short, I have absolutely no regrets about ending up in prison. Otherwise, I would have remained unaware of these bitter truths. I\u2019m someone who believes in life\u2019s boomerang effect. And I strongly hope that one day, those who have brought this country to its current state will also end up here\u2014and drown in the swamp they\u2019ve created.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A.E.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" She was the first girl in her family to be imprisoned \u2014 not for a crime, but for daring to live freely. Truths I Didn\u2019t Learn in 28 Years The first time I got a passport and came home, I saw my father drinking and eating with his friends. I proudly walked up to him […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":30684,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[1047],"class_list":["post-30683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news-feed","tag-editor"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30683"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30683\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30685,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30683\/revisions\/30685"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/30684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.irfs.org\/az\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}